Jimmy TwoShoes: The non JxH files
by Blahdalizer
Summary: I decided to make JTS stories that DON'T involve JimmyxHeloise. R
1. Slim Lang Syne

Once apon a time, Jimmy and Heloise where making out.  
JIMMY: NO! JUST-NO! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU CONTROLL MY MIND! MAKE A SORY ABOUT THE OTHERCCHARACTERS OR SOMETHIG!  
ME: But I can't think about a non-human JTS character for three minutes without wanting to gnaw my everything off. How am I supose to write a fan fiction about them?  
*Jimmy whispers into my ear.*  
ME: Okay. I think I can do that.

Beezy sipped smash at his drink and stood slim behind a hoagie. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel folk and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how awaited his liver got when he was nervous. Well, truth be told, Beezy knew very well why he was at the party: to see Saffy. Ah, Saffy. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her contributing kidney made Beezy's heart beat like when a deviant finally does your request. But tonight everyone was masked. Beezy peered prompt through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Saffy. There, he thought, the woman over by the spokesman, the varied one with the snake mask. It had to be Saffy. No one else could look so precise, even in a snake mask.  
She began to walk Beezy's way and Beezy started to panic. What if she actually talked to Beezy? Saffy came right up to Beezy and Beezy thought that he was going to faint. "Hello," Saffy said staring. "What are you doing over here all alone?" "Oh, just looking at the cake," Beezy said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so suitable. Just then, an apparent voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight...seven ..." Beezy's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Saffy might ... "Happy New Year!" Saffy swept Beezy into her arms, bent him in the kitchen, and kissed Beezy rattling, slipping him the tongue and groping his spleen. Beezy could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out finest and pulled Saffy's mask off her face. It was Saffy! "I knew it was you," Beezy said and took his own mask off. "And it's ... you," Saffy said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch." Beezy watched her go. She would be right back, Beezy was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.


	2. The Miracle Of The Fox

Lucious hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it more than Blahdalizer hates Super smash bros brawl. He loathed it. Every December, Lucious would feel himself getting all hedged inside. He refused to put up a Christmas convening, he snapped at anyone furnished enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents. On December 13, Lucious had to go to the mall to buy a mystified bloodhound. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing boastfully around and so much Christmas music blaring faintly, he thought his throat would explode. Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a taped woman collecting for charity. Lucious never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word. Suddenly, the taped woman dropped his bells and ran under the sofa. There was a corruptible fox right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the taped woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger! Lucious rushed out and chronologically pushed them both out of the way. There was a mangy bang and then everything went dark. When Lucious woke up, he was in a confounding room. There was a Christmas convening in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Lucious's eye hurt. A lot.  
The taped woman came into the room. "I'm so edgy!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Jezz. You saved me from the truck. But your eye is broken." Lucious hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas convening up and his eye was broken, he felt quite hybrid, especially when he looked at Jezz. "Your eye must hurt sorely," Jezz said. "I think this will help." And she scratched Lucious several times. Now Lucious felt very hybrid indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Jezz. "I love you," he said, and kissed Jezz haughtily. "I love you too," said Jezz. Just then, the fox ran into the room and nuzzled Lucious's mouth. "I brought him home with us," Jezz said. "We'll call him Miracle," Lucious said. "Our Christmas Miracle." It was the best Christmas ever.


	3. A Stoic Day To Sniff

Cerbee stepped untiringly out into the interpretative sunshine, and admired Jazmeen's toe. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a sepulchral sight." Jazmeen climbed off the anthology and walked sideways across the grass to greet her lover. Cerbee patted Jazmeen on the torso and then tried to sniff her around, but without success. "That's all right," Jazmeen said. "We can try again later." "I'm just not quiescent," Cerbee. "Not as quiescent as the time we sniffed in my spaghetti." Jazmeen nodded lavishly. "We were couped back in those days." "Our fingers were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Cerbee said. "Everything seems recyclable and upstage when you're young." "Of course," Jazmeen said. "But now we're declassified, we can still have fun. If we go about it upright." "Upright?" Cerbee said . "But how?" "With this," Jazmeen said and held out a sottish liberty. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to sniff." Cerbee swallowed the liberty at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to sniff upright. They sniffed like no ones business. Three times. And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


	4. The story where Sammy saves the day

Once upon a time, Sammy was cutting himself and said "I'm a cyborg. I have amnesia. My sister is also a cyborg with amnesia." Then a monster started attacking the city. "Oh look, a monster." Sammy said. And Sammy roundhouse kicked the monster in the face.

The end


End file.
